I need to make my own mistakes, that's how I will know not to make them again. Just because you have made a bad decision, it doesn't mean the outcome would be the same for me. It is how you go about things that matters. Now I'm not talking about the obvious like "don't take drugs because I had a bad reaction" because I never have done and never will based on my own opinions about them. When people say "you're young, live your life and don't settle down too quickly". Who are you to make that decision for me? I'm proud that I matured slightly before others, have a flat with my boyfriend in uni (and will do afterwards) and if we wanted to further our relationship sooner than the norm, we will.
Andy and I have had tons of chats about the future and agree constantly on what we want. It is healthy in a relationship to know the boundaries and what is to come (or not to come) in the future. We're happy. If we choose to get engaged soon, we will. That's our decision and nobody can decide that for us. Yes you can voice your opinion but that doesn't mean we will take it into consideration. Decades ago, getting engaged and married before you were 18 was the norm. I'm 21, so is Andy (annoyingly 8 days older than me!). If we wanted to marry in the next 5 years we have every right to do so as we are fully grown adults. If you compare us others, we're more mature and certainly more capable of understanding money issues etc. I think we are allowed to define our relationship the way we wish to, so you must respect that.
It's my life, my career path and personal life is in my own hands
Now this is something that I get asked often. "So are you going to be a solicitor or a barrister?" The answer to that is neither. Yes I'm studying law and chose in my second year to not further my legal studied post graduate. Why? Because I don't wish to. Learning about law; the cases, the statutes, the implications has been interesting but that is not what I want from a career. Crime and Tort does interest me and I will continue to be interested in the development of the law as I grow older, but I don't want to practice law.
Another thing is "But you could be really well paid". So?! I want to be in a career that suits me and my lifestyle. When I'm older I want to be a hands on mother, I want to be there for my husband and I want to have a family. I don't want to bring my work home with me and never have time from them. Family is so incredibly important to me and I would never choose a career over them. I can progress in a career and be financially stable in something I wish to pursue, like full time blogging, working in pr or marketing, being a retail manager. I will choose my own career path, thank you kindly.
I have the right to think for myself and make decisions
As I've said, I am 21 years of age. At the young age of 17 I made the decision to study law in Northumbria University in Newcastle. I'm currently 122 miles away from my family home. I see my family a few times per academic year, with longer stays during summer. I chose to do this to gain independence. I was shy and anxious and hated doing things by myself. I wouldn't meet up with a friend in town alone and my nan even got the bus to town with my so I could go to work when I was 17. So why did I choose to move so far away? Newcastle is far away enough from Liverpool so I cannot come back when I'm scared, I can't avoid a situation and I can study on weekends instead of coming home.
By forcing myself to study up here, I now have met people from all over the UK (and even some people from different places in the world). I can go up to someone and ask for help if I need it. I rely on myself only. That has made me a better person. Although issues like bullying have affected me near enough what feels like my whole life, it too has forced me to stand up for myself. I'm glad I told myself this would lead to a better life, because it has.
Everyone is different
I want to be my own person. To the older people who try to encourage a certain route, that may be what you would have wanted to do, but it doesn't mean I do. As a child, I was involved in ballet, tap dancing, swimming, street dancing and ten pin bowling, and loved PE in school. I gave everything up. I wish I had continued with ballet, but stubborn me quit for no good reason (probably so I could play with my friends on a Saturday morning). I do regret that, but it doesn't mean that I will force my future child to take ballet classes. I will encourage them to take part in activities, but they can choose.
I don't want to be a carbon copy. Just because everyone else is wear Birkenstocks and floppy hats, doesn't mean I will follow the trend. I love my personal style, and while it will develop and I will take inspiration from others, I won't ever copy someone. Being unique is great, it gives you personality. I've been told by negative people that I'm boring. I'm not doing what people want me to, therefore I'm boring. No, I don't think so! I'm choosing what I want to do off my own back. Life is limited, I'm not performing someone else's script. I'll write my own story.
Money isn't happiness
This ties in with earlier topics but it's true. On a limited budget, thank you student loans company for that, I don't really have money to play with. I can't go shopping every week or take £50 on a night out with me. But I'm content splitting a Netflix account with Andy and us chilling under a blanket watching Whitechapel or The Killing. I'd rather save my money for both of us to enjoy a weekend away, or better yet a holiday abroad since I've not been on a sunny holiday since 2011, woe is me.
This relates into jobs too as I've said, but having money doesn't mean spending it too. The rich get richer from investing, not throwing their money in the air. They have money to burn, but they don't flush it down the toilet now do they. When I do get a job after graduating, I'm so excited to put any money left over from rent, bills and food towards things for Andy and I as a family. There may only be two of us, but we are together a family. And that makes me very content. I'm a little old lady at heart with her cups of tea and blankets, but that's what makes me happy. As does resting my achy little joints and swollen feet. Just call me grandma.
So there we go. Things that annoy me, and why I will make my own future. That's a mature thing for me to say and I'm happy that I can openly say that. It's not "I won't do as I'm told" because I'm a hard worker and would love to have a job right now, but while writing a dissertation and a blog, it just isn't doable. Hope you liked this post, I'd love to know your thoughts?